That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
