she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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