Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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