Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
