I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
