Nicole vs. Life
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
