Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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