We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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