Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
