their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
