Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
