I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
