we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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