Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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