you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
