Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i think i just lost a toe
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
