Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
