Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
