PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
