I wannas sexs uuuuu
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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