marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
