Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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