I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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