Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
