omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
