i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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