you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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