Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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