he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
