My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
