then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
