I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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