well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
