Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Is it penis luge time yet?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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