the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
