do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
