I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Found the puke drawer
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
