Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
