Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
