kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
