Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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