I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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