he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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