Where is the hickey?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
