i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
