You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
