he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
