so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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