I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
