if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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