one word: firstdatebathroomanal
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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